Hidden Wolf 2: Simon:ography
by Bumpkin
Summary: Jim got a clue, now Simon wants chapter and verse! Sequel to Hidden Wolf.


Disclaimer: Mine, aaalll mine – not.

Description: Jim got a clue, now Simon wants chapter and verse.

Hidden Wolf 2: Simon-ography  
by Marnie Rowe AKA Bumpkin  
Rated: PG

x-X-x

The whole building resonated with the clang as the huge bay doors were shut after the last criminal drove out of the warehouse. This left the core detectives and Captain of Cascade's Major Crimes department with only one thing to concentrate on – the bomb. Well, that and how they all were trussed up like so many turkeys ready to be roasted at Thanksgiving when the device went off.

The detonator had been set in plain view to taunt them and was merrily counting down from the one hour they had been given on the timer, while the incendiary parts were spaced out around them in a circle. To make even more of a mess, tripwires had been strung out into a twisted version of a web waist high on a standing man – which of course put it over their heads as they were all bound hand and foot on the floor where their hosts had left them.

"This blows," H muttered slumping after he tried futilely to pull his wrists apart from where they were tied securely behind his back.

Joel chuckled, he couldn't help himself from uttering, "Not yet," making everyone groan.

"Okay so now we know why they kicked you off the bomb squad, mate. That was truly awful," Megan muttered.

"Yeah, and his timing leaves a lot to be desired too," H added with a smirk. Rafe, the only person in range kicked his partner, while everyone else just glared in his direction.

"So anyone have any ideas of how we're gonna get out of this?" Simon asked changing the subject. The last thing they needed at the time was to get mired down in cracking wise. They were staring death in the face after all. Then he felt someone kneel down behind him and start untying his hands and nearly jumped out of his skin. Craning his neck backwards he was treated to a cheeky grin from his department's new 'official' consultant. "Sandburg?"

"No worries, Simon, me and Jim will have everyone free in just a moment. We'll figure out what to do from there." The big man could only gape, wondering once again how he had been shanghaied into the Sandburg Zone.

Blair for his part muffled a chuckle - even in dire circumstances such as these he always got a kick out of being able to knock Simon off balance. He knew the big police captain wanted to know how he and Jim managed to free themselves but didn't know how to ask. Blair mentally shrugged - it had been easy enough to circumvent the bindings with the flexibility earned through years of Yoga practice. Jim had a bit more difficulty, but he hadn't been practicing as long as his younger partner either. After getting their hands in front, actually untying the bindings was a piece of cake.

Each detective freed another as they were released, rather like a domino effect, and in record time they were all standing together unbound. Now they just had the other half of their situation to deal with – the web of tripwire and attached bomb.

"Y'know," Blair said thoughtfully as he gazed around. "I think perhaps…"

x-X-x

"Okay Blair, now that you're officially on board with the P.D. due to the strings Jim pulled, I think perhaps that a full listing of all your past jobs – no matter how brief and/or unpaid they were – should be recorded somewhere in order to avoid heart stopping moments like the one we just had back there!" Simon's voice had started out reasonably enough, but by the time he had reached the end it had risen rather dramatically. All the detectives still present were cringing a bit at the volume their Captain had managed. Blair, on the other hand, was unaffected by the vocal level but he was gaping a bit at the content.

"Simon-" he started to say with a quelling note to his voice, but then the large man cut him off.

"Oh, and I think you should include a list of any skills you might have – hell, anything you have more than a passing knowledge of no matter how weird or oddball they might be."

Blair blinked. His mouth worked soundlessly while he stared wide-eyed at the police Captain. He wasn't the only one shocked at what Simon was asking of Blair, Jim and the majority of Major Crime was still present and they were watching avidly for what happened next.

Blair finally found his voice, "Simon, Captain-" he corrected his mode of address when the large black man's mouth tightened, Blair sensed the larger man was feeling the need for the formality. "Man, I don't think you realize what you're asking for here. I mean not counting the fact that my formative years were spent wandering the globe with my free spirit of a mother, going from place to place and person to person, following no rhyme nor reason for any of it – there's also the fact I've been a professional student for over ten years…" he let his voice trail off. There was nothing more he could say really, what he already had should be more than enough to dissuade anyone from wanting what Banks had asked for from him. Plus there was a slight glitch with the fact about certain chunks of his past being classified – he wouldn't be allowed to tell Simon about those even if he wanted to. Of course he could still list skills, just not how he acquired them.

Simon, for his part just stared at the younger man flatly – no quarter given. He was going to get what he had asked for in his snit, it didn't matter he was already beginning to regret it or if he was wondering how smart a request it had been in the first place. God knew he was always telling the younger man to shut up when he started going on about some place he had been for his anthropology studies. Mentally he groaned as he realized - and now he had just demanded to be given the written version of all of it! Heartily wishing he could retract his demand, Simon instead ramped up his 'my will be done' glare.

Blair huffed a few times at the Captain's intransigence, but saw that he wasn't going to get anywhere with any of his protests. Finally he left with one last narrow eyed glare in the tall dark man's direction.

Jim sidled up to Simon's side. "Umm, you realize you are probably going to get something that is going to rival the Encyclopedia Britannica in volume right?"

Simon groaned. He said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know, right up to the twenty-some-odd volumes even."

H snickered as Joel piped up, "But I bet it'll be a hell of a lot more interesting than any encyclopedia set out there. We know that much from listening to some of the excerpts."

"Yeah, no joke – I mean this is Hairboy we are talking about here-" H started.

Rafe finished, " Yeah, Blair wouldn't know how to be boring to save his life - witness tonight."

Jim shot an amused look at the unlikely partners.

Megan started to giggle and said, "I wonder if we could get him to footnote things he later used in service to the PD?"

Jim got an odd look on his face as Megan explained further for the others who looked a bit confused. "Like a comparison overview – why and who and back to why. It might help us figure out how his overly large brain works, I don't think we'll ever catch a clue on our own."

"I don't even think a cheat sheet like that would help me understand how Blair's brain works." Joel said. "I just don't have the reference points to work from."

"Who does?" Simon moaned. "The man is a law unto himself."

Simon stalked off towards his car and ignored the laughter of his subordinates as it followed him.

x-X-x

Nearly a week later Simon was sitting in his office enjoying a cup of coffee. Yet another yuckety-schumckety blend that his cousin had sent him – he still couldn't tell the difference from Maxwell House really – but it did taste good he had to admit. He was just raising his mug to take another swig when his office door banged open and Blair Sandburg stormed in. Startled by his new consultant's abrupt entrance, Simon fumbled his mug and nearly spilled his coffee.

"Sandburg!" he roared as he put down his coffee, hopefully to prevent any further mishaps. "What is the meaning of this?"

"This," Blair said as he slammed a stack of paper on the Captain's desk. Simon gulped. That couldn't be what he thought it was… Good lord! It was over a foot high, and as a quick glance ascertained, printed in an extremely tiny font. But Blair didn't seem to see the shock he had caused, or if did see, care. "As per your unreasonable demand – my biography of skills. Happy?"

Simon didn't answer the fuming young man in front of him. He merely reached out a shaking hand and flipped a few of the pages to see if the type was that tiny throughout the entire thing. It was.

"Meep?"

-End-


End file.
